What you forget...(an incoherant monologue of sorts)

It is amazing to me that one can forget how to think when you don't use your brain for certain activities for extended periods of time:)  For a very, very long time, I have not been able to sew.  I once loved it more than breathing, but just stop caring altogether several years ago after life circumstances changed my outlook on everything.  Once your life prioritizes itself for you, some of the activities you once cherished just don't seem to matter anymore.    So, for years, I have had my machine on a table, just collecting dust.  Fabric, however, is an entirely different issue:)  Go figure!!!

Fabric is still something that makes me drool- even if I don't use it- even if it begins to collect dust- even if I already have tons of it!!!  Simply put: One can never have too much fabric:)  Not ever!!!  This is a fact- just ask anyone that loves creating.

So, we come to the past few weeks....

Stash Manicure is hosting a major giveaway event for wantobe-quilters.  Essentially, those that are interested in quilting can win, due to some very generous sponsors, the items and supplies necessary to begin quilting.  For me this seems to be ideal.  I want to be able to make and appreciate beautiful quilts.  Quilts are so amazing!!!  I have basic sewing knowledge and a love for quilts but don't have the patience to try to teach myself to be more patient with my sewing and alignment, which is quite necessary for making pieced works that don't look like a unskilled child made them.  Circular reasoning, huh?  Since, I taught myself to sew, I don't tend to do some of the basics that other sewists do.  For instance, I have never used a 5/8 inch seam allowance.  When sewing apparel, my first love, I just used the edge of my presser foot as a loose guide.  Since I require instant gratification, I sew quickly and don't tend to reverse sew my mistakes.  I figure it will either work or it won't!  If it doesn't, I chalk it up to being something else for the scrap bucket.  Then, I cut it up for something else.  Quilting is not as forgiving as general sewing and I need all the help I can get:)

... and my machine did not come with a 1/4 inch foot, so that seam allowance was just plain foreign to me...

So, several months ago, I finally called Singer and ordered a 1/4 inch foot.  When it arrived, I was terribly disappointed.  Not only is it plastic rather than metal, but it is not uniformly 1/4 inch.  It actually is only 1/4 inch at the very front of the foot and is closer to 1/2 at the area beside the needle.  Really???  I paid for this???  Not happy!!!  The whole reason I bought the 1/4 inch foot was to avoid having to concentrate so intently on accuracy.  I guess that Singer assumes I have more skill than I actually do.  I see photos of other's machines with idiot proof 1/4" feet, so why does Singer have to be so different???  So, the new foot is now set aside, without being used to help me to create pieced loveliness:)

Blurry- but you get the idea...

Jumping to several days back and the title about forgetting... Jesse has to take BPE to graduate this year.  Three days each week will be physical education and the remaining two will be health.  She needs a gym bag for her shorts and shirt to change into each day.  Years ago, I bought these great, Nike gym bags.  The boys both lost or destroyed theirs pretty quickly, but Jesse has been using hers for about 6-7 years now.  It finally gave up its ghost!  So, I told Jess that I would use it as a pattern and just make her another one since I haven't seen them in the stores to buy one.  Good heavens, what was I thinking???  Something that should have been VERY simple and quick turned out to take a couple of hours.  After much deliberating and petting of my fabric, she finally chose the original print I had purchased for her bag:)  What should have been simple construction turned out to be a bit confusing for me.  I have not sewn is so long, that I seemed to have forgotten how to think through the steps adequately and implement them effortlessly.  Since I was using quilting weight fabric rather than home dec weight, I decided to line the bag for added durability.  Then, I decided to make a casing for the draw strings that was a separate component to the overall bag rather than making the casing out of the front fabric.   Oh, and let us not forget that I decided that it needed a zippered interior pocket.  How hard could it be, right???  Zippers are just not for me and I will spend inordinate amounts of time reworking a pattern to convert zippers to buttons.  Buttons are a breeze comparably. 

...and so on...

Why do I have to make things harder on myself?

So, as of about 0130 this morning, Jesse has a new, string-style gym bag that she is super thrilled with and now wants more of them to use for every occasion:)  She has gone through her own fabric collection to choose the next fabric already.  This bag has an interior, zippered, pocket for her phone or keys and has a black band for contrast and interest.  ...and, of course, the additional casing for the drawstrings:)

We haven't finalized the string length yet but will get the ends clipped and burnt soon:)

So, I learned to be more accepting of my "forgotten" skills and also learned that I need much more practice:)  I genuinely hope to be able to find love in the sewing process again.

If you have continued reading to this point, thanks for staying with me:)  Today, I kinda' feel stream-of-consciousness rather than planned and well executed:)  Today I feel old- my baby boy is 20 today:)

Sick baby girl...

Jesse has been feeling sickly for a couple of weeks now.  She missed her final exams prior to the Christmas Break due to elevated fever and bronchitis.  On Christmas Eve, we ended up in the ER with a perforated eardrum in addition to the respiratory infection.  She hasn't been this sick since she was about 5 years old- it was in December then, too.  This poor baby is coughing so deeply and consistently that she is unable to rest without medication.

So, for Christmas this year, we have been camping out in my bed and watching movies.  While I wish she weren't sick, it has been really great to be able to just be lethargic and watch movies in between her naps.  

Nathan actually had plans with a friend's family this year.  All in all, it worked out well.  Nathan kept checking on his sister but was still able to go out and be festive, too.  When he got in early this morning, he came to check on her again and make sure she was warm enough.  Somehow, he has developed a fondness for his little sister--- but he probably won't admit to it:)

Overall, Christmas was not what I had envisioned this year, but it was good nonetheless!!!  I like it when things work out as they should. 

Missing sewing...

Due to life circumstances, I have not been in my sewing room or crafting room for about a year now.  I did get a handful of cards made a couple of weeks ago, but other than that, nothing.  Creating was once therapy for me but it does not seem to hold the appeal it once did. 

Sew, Mama, Sew recently hosted a blog hop with tons of prizes to be given away from various artists and I won a reusable bag and a bag kit from the Green Bag Lady.  So, without doubt, I will be sewing up that kit once it arrives.  I need to pay it forward and make sure others have reusable bags available to them:) 

Chronic illness has really taken its toll on me and I am just plain tired of it and would very much like to have my life back again.  I want to feel good and have energy as I see that others do.  I want to be in a good mood on a daily basis.  I want to be able to do more activities with my kids, although my kids are older and those activities will consist of playing pool and going to the mall- just for the record, I am allergic to malls:)  Eeewwww!!!  Additionally, I really am awful at pool but have fun with it when we go as a family and just knock around the balls for a while.  I just want to be better...

I feel like whining today and really do not care for the feeling in the least.  I don't like being crabby.  So, I am gonna' go hibernate in my room with a movie or three and try to reset. 

In typing this, I have been reminded that it could be worse.  I have a new friend that is pregnant.  While she and her peanut are both doing well, she has been told to limit her activities and will have frequent check-ins with her doctor for the remainder of her pregnancy.  I can only imagine how difficult that will be for her as she already has little ones and a husband to care for.  Please say an extra prayer for my friend that is having a rough time right now.

Thanks for "listening" to my whining.  Next time, I will be in a better frame of mind- with no whining allowed:)